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Some have described it as a feeling of peacefulness or returning contentment. Others talk about a "desire to let go and move on". Eventually there comes a day we can look back and think "I have not felt sad" or "I have not felt that awful empty pain inside me for some time" or "being able to laugh and look forward again without feeling guilty and to really think about things other than our loss."

"Although there never is a line drawn that says 'grief ends here', when dealt with in a healthy way it does eventually transmute into a form which we can live with. I remember with great clarity, when long after my miscarriage a chance remark reminded me of my loss and I really sobbed to exhaustion. At the time I thought my response inappropriate because it had all happened so long ago. But I now know in retrospect that it was the turning point towards a deeper level of acceptance. It felt like a cleansing of the guilt and hurt and the shadow of that gradually dissipated afterwards.

I finally came to that place where the intermittent memories were good ones and comforted myself that my baby's soul had gone on growing after it had left my body and was happy and adjusted somewhere. Perhaps even vicariously part of the family as we often think of other dead relatives - I'm sure my mother is at family celebrations and sorrows. It felt okay to put my baby's soul to rest and no longer a betrayal or denial of her or his brief existence. She or he would always be a part of us through memory." Vonney

Even once the grieving process is completed, it is not uncommon for some of these feelings to return, either on the baby's due date or on the anniversary of the miscarriage. However, if the grieving process is truly completed, these "anniversary phenomenon" feelings should not be overwhelming.

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