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Most couples find grief has a deep impact on their relationship. It is most important that we accept that his grief will be different from ours. This can be explained by the different rates of bonding experienced by the parents during pregnancy, see below. Note that between two and three months, her bond is about three times his, which is reflected in the differing depths of grief.

"Miscarriage had a very destructive effect on our relationship. We were both suffering greatly, yet so overwhelmed by our own feelings we failed to recognise each other's suffering and need for support. Then we blamed each other for not meeting our individual needs. If only we had talked more." Sandra

Be aware that some women have an expectation that their partner can or even should meet all their needs for emotional support. This is not only unrealistic, but places an unfair burden on them. It is really important to get professional help if this situation is not resolved. It will not go away.

Sexual Relations

While some women look forward to resuming their sexual relationship as soon as possible, many do not. There are a variety of reasons for this, mainly to do with our attitudes to a part of our body that has let us down and the fear of repeating it all. Doctors advise that while bleeding continues, intercourse should be avoided because of the risk of infection.

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