|
|
coffeegroup.org News - July 2009
|
|
|
Hi Everyone!
|
|
|
|
Term two has drawn to a spectacular close and we're once again enjoying the freedom of the school holidays. The final week of term ended on a high note as we were treated to an amazing production of Beauty and the Beast - we truly are blessed to be living in a community of such great talent! The acting, the music, the costumes, the sets and the timeless tale were a wonderful celebration of all the good in the world following a nasty incident which had taken place earlier in the week.
It was a relatively sunny afternoon and we decided to take advantage of the break in the rain to stay at school for play with our friends. As the children played the mothers chatted until we heard crying from the other side of the playground. Having investigated the source of the crying did not belong to us and seeing that the child was being comforted by and adult (presumably her mother) we all disbanded to round up our respected offspring. As per usual, Satine was reluctant to come off the monkey bars so we negotiated 'just one more go' and I turned to collect up our bags. When Satine joined me, she was visibly upset and burst into tears as she said: "She won't accept my apology."
Panic hit as I tried to reconcile the possibility that my caring, kind-hearted, gentle-souled six year old may have hurt another child. How could this be? Satine's chest was now heaving as the tears flowed - something I have never seen before - as she kept saying: "It was an accident... I kept saying I'm sorry but she won't accept my apology."
|
|
 |
|
The reality that my angelic child is a mere human suddenly hit me. Like the rest of us mere mortals, she too will make mistakes and what incredible maturity she showed in admitting her mistake and trying to right it. Sadly, the mother of the hurt girl was unable to step outside of her anger to find out what had actually happened and to see Satine's remorse. "My daughter is going to be an ugly pig because of YOU. You kicked her new tooth and its going to fall out and she will be an ugly pig for the rest of her life because of YOU!" she kept saying over and over again.
Fortunately, there was a witness to the incident and between the three girls, we were able to establish that it had in fact been an accident with no malicious intent whatsoever and that ill judgement on behalf of both the girls was to blame. Satine had been going across the monkey bars when the other girl had decided to stand directly underneath. Satine thought she could get passed around her, but either she misjudged or the girl had moved at which point Satine's shoe met with her face. Satine immediately realised her mistake and tried to see if the girl was alright and attempted to apologise - only to be yelled at by an irate mother protecting her cub.
But perhaps the greatest trauma came once the full details had been agreed upon - the mother turned her anger away from Satine and directly at her daughter: "So it's all YOUR fault that you're going to be an ugly pig for the rest of your life. When you come crying to me that you're an ugly pig I'm just going to shrug my shoulders and say it was an accident and there's nothing I can do about it." As you can imagine, these comments set both the girls off crying again.
In fact, we then spent some ten minutes sitting in the car reconciling what had happened in an attempt to reduce the tears enough for me to be able to drive home safely. But the tears flowed again upon our return home and again as the story was recounted to Dada. Then again at bedtime as we discussed our 'best and worst parts' of our day. Clearly, Satine just couldn't get closure: "Why wouldn't she accept my apology?". This one had me stumped too. We teach our children the importance of acknowleding our mistakes and apologising when we have hurt someone. But I'm missing the chapter on what you're supposed to do when the other party won't accept your apology. So here's what I came up with...
"That mother was upset because her daughter had been hurt and just like every other parent, she wants to protect her child so became angry and wanted to point the blame at someone. Unfortunately, sometimes when we or someone we care about is hurt, it is difficult for us to step away from that hurt to see the whole situation." Adding: "We all know that it was an accident. You did the right thing in apologising straight away and there is nothing more that you could have done." But I could see that this wasn't enough so made one final attempt at helping her find closure: "You cannot change how this person feels about you any more than you can chance what had happened. But what you CAN change is how you feel about it all. She may never accept your apology and is unlikely to acknowledge how badly she treated you, but by understand why she behaved the way that she did, you can find it within your heart to forgive her. Forgiveness isn't saying that her behaviour was okay, but it's accepting that she made a mistake and mistakes are part of being human. Once you can forgive her, you will be able to let go of the emotions and leave the experience in the past."
Satine clasped her hands and closed her eyes. When she opened them again we asked her what she was doing. Her reply? "I was praying to God asking him to forgive that mother."
If only we could all see the good intentions in people and exhibit such emotional maturity...
Once again our newsletter is bursting at the seams so without further delay, I invite you to grab a cuppa and enjoy this month's articles, reviews, giveaways and recipes, whilst I get back to enjoying my daughter's company...
{source}[[script src="http://static.ak.connect.facebook.com/js/api_lib/v0.4/FeatureLoader.js.php" type="text/javascript"]][[/script]] [[fb:comments xid="id844"]][[/fb:comments]] [[script type="text/javascript"]] FB.init("77e6399157db8779c45eaf6ac4541368", "xd_receiver.htm"); [[/script]]{/source}
|
|
Book / Product Reviews
|
|
The aim of the Book / Product Reviews section is to share books, products and services available to New Zealand families and to provide our members with the opportunity to add their own ratings and reviews. This month we review a great product to save the amount of washing you have to face whilst night-time toilet training and another to save your power bill whilst dealing with the rest of the laundry drying. We also review a fabulous toy for littlies of all ages along with a variety of fantastic books to keep the whole family entertained:
We are also giving you the opportunity to win some of these fabulous books and products - read on to find out how!!
Have you ever taken time out of your busy day to marvel at the techonological changes that have taken shape in the past two decades? It's been almost 15 years since I purchased my first computer - I was about to start my tertiary studies and am still paying for it as part of my student loan! Research was conducted in labraries flicking through printed texts (the phrase "just Google-it" - which at 5 years of age was already flippantly used by my daughter, had not yet been coined); we carried cash in wallets, wrote out cheques and walked into purpose-built buildings for our banking; we used our legs to hunt down bargains and auctions were reserved for purchasing cars and houses; we wrote letters which we sent via air or surface mail and picked up the telephone receiver (generally connected by wire to its base which in tern was plugged into a socket in the wall) to 'chat' with our friends and loved ones. Boy, has the world changed or what??
Technology has come a long way and we have all eagerly jumped on the information highway to take us places we only ever dreamed of in childhood. In fact, I have a school project from 1986 when we were studying Halley's Comet and were asked to draw and describe an 'invention' which we will be using in 76 years' time when the comet is next due to appear again. I came up with a 'video telephone' would you believe? A telephone which had a TV screen attached to it so that you could see the person you were talking to! I still vividly recall the condescending smirks on adults' faces at my incredulous suggestion and wonder if anyone else thought of my project when video conferencing and the likes of Skype became available?
I don't know about you, but I certainly couldn't imagine life without the internet. Unfortunately, there is a dark side to cyberspace that everyone needs to be aware of and in particular, as parents, we need to be vigilant in keeping our children safe as they too travel along the information highway. As the creator of this virtual support group, a vicitim of childhood bullying, and above all else a parent, I am thrilled to have been granted permission to share a series of articles written by NetSafe about Cybersafety.
Children and young people use all of the many information and communication (ICT) devices available to communicate and stay connected with friends, family, and new people they may meet online. Just as there are many ways of online communicating, there are also many venues in Cyberspace to do so. Precautions need to be taken to help make Cyberspace a safer environment for everyone. The following articles take a look at what children and young people are doing online and how you can help them keep safer:
|
|
|
|
Swine flu continues to dominate the headlines with the official confirmed cases in New Zealand nearing 1,000 and the pandemic is predicted to stay for a further 18 months. Whilst most otherwise healthy people are expected to recover from Influenza A (H1N1) as they would from any other seasonal influenza, we are urged to take extra precaution to minimise the spread and to vigilantly monitor those who are showing signs of respiratory distress (difficulty breathing) or becoming dehydrated. The following articles from the Ministry of Health offer important advice should you or anyone close to you begin to exhibit flu-like symptoms:
Have you had a chance to sign in and introduce yourself on the Coffee Groups Discussion Forums?
|
These forums have been created especially for our members so that you can discuss what's on your mind, share your experiences, benefit from the support of other parents throughout New Zealand and make some friends along the way.
They are also a great place to meet new people in your area. Perhaps you're new to New Zealand or recently moved to a new city. Maybe your friends are not at the same stage of parenting as you or your coffee group hasn't worked out. Here's your chance to meet local parents - eager to make new friends and possibly even start a coffee/walking group!!
|
|
|
Why don't you sign in and join a discussion topic - or start a new post about something concerning you? Chances are, you're not alone in your experiences!
The coffeegroup.org members LOVE sharing recipes. This month we bring you a collection of our favourite winter warmer soup recipes to comfort New Zealand families on chilly days and nights, followed by some sensational chocolate treats to feed your soul:
The coffeegroup.org Events / What's On section is devoted to "what's on" throughout New Zealand: from parenting courses and pre-school classes to community, sports and recreation events.
But wait, there's more!! As a member of the coffeegroup.org community, you now have the ability to upload and maintain your own listings so that you can notify the whole of New Zealand about your community-based, family oriented activities completely free of charge!!
July 2009 Giveaways:
|
.
Click here to go in the draw to win a Single or King Single Brolly Sheets
valued at $45 or $50 respectively
|
|
|
|
.
a DryBars Heated Clothing Rack
valued at $199
|
|
.
a set of Rainbow Sound Blocks
valued at $67
|
|
|
|
a copy of What's So Bad About Gasoline? valued at $10
|
Congratulations to the Winners from our May 2009 Giveaways:
-
A bottle of AllerZero from The Green Boutique went to: Rachna Lal (Manukau) and Nicola Frame (Christchurch)
-
A My Wee Friend Potty Training Kit went to: Julie Burrows (Wellington) and Winnie Chin (Auckland)
-
A Nudey!Rudey! Modern Cloth Pocket Nappy went to: Natalia McDonald (Palmerston North) and Beth Robinson (Nelson)
-
A Mustela Stelaprotect Range Gift Pack from Wainhouse Distribution went to: Diana White (Hastings) and Janine Forgie (Auckland)
-
A copy of Fortune Cookie by Jean Ure from HarperCollins Publishers went to: Carolina Geirnaert (Manukau) and Tania Brown (Christchurch)
-
A copy of Still Standing: From debutante to detox by Liz Jamieson-Hastings from HarperCollins Publishers went to: Hayley Honiss (Porirua) and Angela Sicely (Hamilton)
|
Once again, if you have any comments or suggestions, please send them my way - I value your feedback and will do my best to provide you with articles, resources, and web site features which you will find useful and entertaining.
I would also like to thank our advertisers without whom this web site would not be possible. Please support them by following their links and finding out more about the fantastic products and services they have to offer.
Till next time, happy parenting!!
|
|
|
|
Newsletter Archives 
